The haps on the recent craps

There's a lot of ground to cover in this post. I am, after all, covering ten days worth of news.

The biggest news is that the patriarch of the Simpson family, Pappaw, underwent surgery last Friday to clear a 90% blockage of his carotid artery - named as such because it's shaped like a carrot. The Shreveport fam all drove down to be with Mammaw and help out with delivery to surgery and moral support and such... Taylor and I even functioned as tech support while there, installing a cable modem at their house.

By Friday afternoon, Pappaw was out of surgery, blood flowing like an 18 year old and Mammaw's computer was up and running on the information super highway at blazing speeds.

Just before our trip, Last Monday I found that we had a gator in our pond. Yes, a real gator. I didn't mention it because, hey... what's a gator to a man but a challenge? After a few nights of talking trash to the pond, waiting on a wrestling match, I gave up. My shouts of "YOU CALL THAT A DEATH ROLL!? I've seen tootsie rolls more threatening than that!" and "Your momma's a crocodile!" couldn't seem to provoke the gator. I did manage to snap a picture or two of the little (4-5 foot) booger.

Well, today I stopped by and talked to the sales lady in our subdivision and she said that they knew about the gatorS. The S is capitalized there because it's the biggest plural I've ever heard. I had to stop sales lady... "Did you say alligatorS?". If you've seen jurassic park, you know how tricky those reptiles can be, and will understand my concern. Clever girl, indeed.

In other, unrelated, purely coincidental news, our fence will be going up this week.

Katie's out of town for the night, so Taylor and I got together to have a man night (sans Sami) and play some Guitar Hero 3. We laid the proverbial smack down on the game for an hour and a half or so before he had to amscrey... and managed to get as far as Metallica - ONE in the set list on hard. I got as far as 90% into it, but haven't been able to beat the song yet...

What else is there...? I think that's about it. Pluto's being pluto. He's a shedding, slobbering, waste machine. I told Katie that I didn't think he'd been growing much lately... and I think I know why. I'm of the opinion that food runs right through him. He eats and 5 minutes later he's in the yard depositing plutonium... the food has no time to be used. Poor little guy. I'm gonna feed him and put a cork in his butt so he can have a chance to grow.

Oh, one more thing before I forget. If any telemarketers are reading this... looking for me. You'll never catch me alive! I've been getting calls 2-3 a day, at least, 2 of which were on my cell phone today.

"Jordan?"

"Yes."

"Hey, Jordan, this is Marky Mark from . We're calling you because you purchased something from one of our partners."

-click-

Stop calling me, people, seriously.