Respect.

This is a personal, but public post (read: I'm getting this off my chest, and it probably won't interest you).

I got a call tonight from Katie, who is in Shreveport, while I'm stuck in Ruston because of work.

Sami, Katie and her Mom got into a "discussion" about whether or not I'm a bad person, with Katie's mom defending the position that I'm capable of strangling crippled kittens. Apparently, I lack respect for Elders, and I treat women poorly. She also has insight directly into my future. If this relationship between Katie and I ends up working out, when the romance dies... which it apparently has to in her world... I will no longer treat her with respect, or love.

How she knows any of this, from the very limited amount of time that she's spent with me, is a complete mystery, to me and everyone else involved.

Anyway, I didn't sit down and write this post to defend myself and talk about how I do respect my elders, or treat women with respect, or any of the other snide comments she had saved up to dump on Katie and Sami. What did catch my interest from the whole situation was what I found myself wondering about. What really deserves respect? Why is it that some people get respect, in anything they do, while others can't seem to buy respect?

There have always been certain people throughout my life that have garnered respect from just about everyone. The common thread throughout those people's lives and character usually involved some type of single event, reputation, or respect from people I already held in high esteem. These ways are probably the most common ways that people I know, and respect have earned my high regard (not like it's a big honor or anything:)).

As more time passes, I become more resolute in believing that respect isn't just something that's given to a person because they have a title in front of their name, or because they've survived for 40 years. It's how you got the title, or position you're in, and how you've lived those years you've been alive. Most importantly however, I think that as soon as you respect someone else, especially coming from someone in a position of authority to a person in a lower position, you develop a mutual respect. This mutual respect can easily form the building blocks for a lasting relationship... It's probably the best way, in my opinion to gain someone's respect.

I can still remember working with my Pappaw on a broken piece of his fence when I was about 10 years old. My brother and I were running around like little rugrats while he was trying to fix the fence. After watching him for a little while though, we came up with a suggestion of how to do it (though I think it turned out to be wrong). He listened to us, and considered the idea. He showed us that he respected our opinion, however naiive and uninformed it may have been. I know that that's not the only reason for my respect for my grandparents, or Pappaw in particular, but I know that situations like those where I was shown respect went a long way in my showing them respect, and consequentially knowing how to respect other people, and their ideas and opinions.

Ahhh, I started to ramble on my blog again. So, to answer my own questions from above: What really deserves respect? No one person deserves to be respected above any other person based on title, position, name, money, etc. . A person deserves respect for achievements, and character they've shown in reaching those achievements. If anyone thinks that they "deserve" a certain amount of respect no matter how they treat another person, or how they've conducted themselves, they're just plain wrong.

The second question I was wondering about was, "Why is it that some people get respect, in anything they do, while others can't seem to buy respect?" As much as I want to bring Rodney Dangerfield into some kind of analogy, I'll leave him be. It seems to me that people who show respect to other people always get respect back, whether they actively seek it or not. Those who show respect to noone, or only to a select few who are above them, are not likely to get much respect from the majority of people. I think that's the main difference between the two type of people.

Wow, I've managed to do two things here: ask and answer questions myself... in written form like a crazy person, and to set the record for the most times a site this small has used the word respect.