January 06, 2005
Reaching a new stage in life.
After graduation, I've come to realize a few things. First, that I'm old. My back hurts, I've got grey hair, I'm tired at 10:00, I sometimes have discussion about bowel movements in public, and I think the way kids dress today is retarded. I have become my Grandpa.
Taylor, Katie and I all had the same thought within the same period of the last few weeks. All of the clothing stores we used to love have fewer and fewer clothes we'd buy. This would include American Eagle, Hollisters, and some other franchise clothing stores. Taylor even went so far as to say that he likes clothes from JCPenney and Dillard's more than AE these days. This would've been crazy talk for any of us even 2 years ago. However, with the nasty retro and other crazy styles that are in stores now, we can't help but shop elsewhere and feel sorry for those younger people who do shop at these stores.
The style of clothing kids wear today makes them look retarded, and I plan to give you a few examples. Well, maybe retarded is an offensive word to some, so I guess they really just look like idiots... though there may be idiots who are offended to be in the same category as kids that look like these... but I digress...
Exhibit A: Track Jackets
In the early 80's when people wore these things, cocaine was big. That provides some explanation behind the fashion trend. Now, when people look back at them, they can at least think "Wow, I did a lot of cocaine in the 80's". Kids today don't have the luxury of blaming this fashion trend on cocaine... and ecstasy probably isn't strong enough to make these look cool. They must all be on the smack.
Not only do you not look cool when you wear one of these, you have to pay $48 for a jacket that you could have bought at goodwill 5 years ago for under a dollar. This makes my hand start flailing about, looking for children to slap when I think about it.
Exhibit B: Abercrombie Jeans
I don't have a problem with jeans that have a stone wash, or a worn look to them. I like that, I always hated wearing new jeans myself, but this has gotten ridiculous. It looks like abercrombie has hired a team of coal miners to wear these jeans for a month before they sell them.
All the jeans pictured here have holes in them. Maybe the low lighting conditions and the half naked models on the walls of the stores distract the hormonally imbalanced, keeping them from noticing. Most likely though, kids today are just plain dumb. They have to be, because they pay $79.50 for these beat up, crusty old jeans.
This trend is almost as annoying as the time about 4 years ago when frat guys and high school kids everywhere thought that only tucking in the front of a shirt was fashionable. Thank god that passed.
Final Exhibit, C: The Popped Collar
I admit, I have done this before. By accident. Unfortunately, kids are doing this on purpose. Leading me to believe that most of them were brain damaged in some type of accident (most likely related to huffing paint).
I don't see much of this anymore, and haven't for a few months, but I couldn't resist mentioning it.
Well, that's the end of my rant. My hope is that some poor misguided child will come across the site and see the error of his/her ways. These young whippersnappers today need some guidance, and this may be just the place to give it to them.